Today is Mother's Day. As you know, my mom is dead. Sounds kind of heartless to say it that way, but those are the facts. I've been thinking pleasant thoughts about her. I don't get angry at her anymore. I mean it has been 5 years. One thing that bothers me though, is we never had a service for her. We all had to say goodbye in our own way. I've thought about having something for her, but it's kind of like, why? Maybe, I'll make a video with pictures in it. But, it's kind of a moot point in the long run. I've made my peace with it.
It occurred to me today when I woke up this morning, that I am a black person. Before you laugh, this is something I don't always realize. For some reason, my mind decided that I needed to know this today. I woke up today and thought of 2 things; we have a new pope and I am a black person. I never refer to myself as an African-American. My family is just regular American. We've got some mixtures along with some African ancestry, hence the melanin. But, since I have no idea of what country or region of Africa said ancestors came from, I don't think of myself that way. That part of my family history was hijacked, our language stolen. We have some Native American ancestry as well. Lots of black people think that, but it's true on our part. There are pictures of a distinctly Native people in our history. Let's not forget that a lot of my family could pass for white, and some in fact did.
Of course, I did ask myself why I was thinking about this today, but I really can't say why. Sometimes, it just pops in my mind as a friendly reminder. I have been living my life as a regular old person. I forget things about myself. I forget that I am fat, I forget that I have physical and mental challenges, I forget that I am a woman. So, why wouldn't I forget that I am black? This is especially true now. I mean in this day and age, the government would like nothing better than me to forget the things that make me a unique individual. They are trying desperately to erase DEI, trying to make this an America of the 1950's when the old white man ruled the world. Unfortunately, people are either too shocked to do anything about it, don't care or agree. The whole MAGA dogma is about turning control back over to white men, whether they are mentally competent to run things or not. Case in point, the Grand Cheeto or Convict-in Chief. What an incredible buffoon. Yet still people hear and listen to him. He is so incredibly stupid. He actually thinks he's a good person. Meanwhile, I'm thinking past governments both foreign and domestic would have had him taken care of by now. I guess it's true, you just can't get good help anymore.
I've decided that the only way for me to get ahead is to leave this country. I'd like to move overseas and live out my days peacefully with my cats, dogs and a few horses. I'm not sure exactly where, but I really like the idea of living in the English countryside. I'd win a very nice lottery amount and buy a manor house and live in the country. I know England is just as racist as America, but they have nicer country and they need rich, obnoxious Americans to buy some lordships and maintain their old sense of entitlement. Of course, I'll never grace their tea parties, but they'll have me over for galas for charitable events. I'll out snob them, because I am so very bougie. lol
So today I've recognized my blackness. Maybe tomorrow I'll investigate my love of Italian food or Kosher pickles. There is talk that my great grandmother was once married to a Jewish man. I don't know if my grandfather is a result of that union as she was a rather loose woman. But O Vey!!!
Peace, Joy, Love - Queen B
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