I feel good. There I said it. I feel good about things right now. Nothing much has changed. In fact I have other things to worry about, but I don't feel despair or hopeless.
I went to church again this morning. I looked forward to it. I go to 10:45 Mass. Today's Gospel was the BeAttitudes. I feel that I am blessed. I prayed before services started for the ability to do my job and to give thanks for the job I have. I still don't want to do it, but I will do my best with what I have. I prayed for the souls of my departed loved ones and for the Lord to protect my living family and friends.
Going to church gives me comfort and energy. I like it. I love it. I think I am going to join the women's ministry. It's Women in Service to God (WINGS). The are sponsoring the Holiday Bazaar and bake sale. I signed up to bake a few items. I'm making at least an apple pie and a sweet potato pie. I was thinking about making cookies or muffins. I might make muffins. I'll have to think on it some more.
Going to church brings me a peace that I haven't found anywhere else. It's a sense of community. It's also the realization that I am a child of God, and that I need to continue to live my life with a heart open to love. Not the romantic love, but the love on one human for another. I suppose some will call it naive, especially in today's world, but I look at each person as a potential friend. They are my brothers and sisters. It doesn't matter who they are, but each I believe each person has potential. It's only when that person shows me that they do not have a giving spirit or are filled with hate that I turn away. I still pray for them, I just steer clear.
Last night was Halloween. The night the neighborhood kids come begging for goodies. I spent $40 on candy. Last year we had so many kids, close to 150. We almost ran out of candy. This year I was prepared. But we only had about 50 kids. So we have a bunch of candy left over. It figures. I had to break my budget for the candy and we have so much left.
I had a gastroenterologist appointment on Friday. I've lost 30 pounds in the past 2 months without trying, and my appetite is nonexistent. I've also had changes in my bowel movements. So, I have to get an MRI and colonoscopy. This is like the 4th MRI this year. So, just because it was nagging at me, I looked up colon cancer symptoms, and I have 4 of the 6 symptoms for women over 60. I wouldn't be surprised if they found something, because it runs in my family. I already have the liver disease. I'm hoping it's nothing but polyps, but I'm preparing for the worse. I see a orthopedic doctor this Friday because my knees are giving me fits. I have to tape them up at night and use Voltaren. I think I'll have to have an arthroscopy on my left knee at least. I'm still trying to get my shoulder repaired. So, health wise I'm not doing all that great. But, I still feel good. I have a feeling that 2027 is going to be a good year.
I'm planning to see the Nutcracker ballet in Atlanta this year. There's a show on Christmas eve, so I may go then. The tickets are $84 and higher. I'll see what I can do. I'll ask Erica and April if they want to go, but they'll probably say no. I'll just go by myself.
So, I'm getting into the groove for the holidays. I'm going to try and avoid the after holiday slump by doing something good for me all season. I have to make a pledge to save money and pay bills on time. I got a half paycheck on Friday, since I only have 1 week on this check. But my next pay I'll have a full check. Most of it is going to the car. I'm 2 months behind again. Oh well, until I win the Powerball, I guess I'll just be struggling again. I'm not worried. I serve an incredible God, and He has made a way for me so far. I have faith that He will continue to bless me and deliver me from my trials.
Peace, Joy, Love - B
