I had too many cigarettes today. I smoked a whole pack. I normally only smoke 1/2 a pack, but today I guess I was a bit on edge. I also had too much caffeine. I had a cup this morning around 6:45. Then around 3 pm I got a large ice coffee from Panera Bread. They're having a free coffee special for the summer. As much as you want for free! I guess that didn't help my edginess.
The day started off well enough. I was excited to get to work. Somehow, I got distracted by the task at hand, and lost my mojo. I had to pick up my car from the shop today. That was fine, except I forgot my house key a the shop, and had to drive back over there to find it. That just made flustered. I took my regular 2 hour break at noon, but didn't get back home until 2:30. I had a 3 pm appointment to get ready for, and I finished preparing just in time.
I sell insurance by the way. Something I thought was probably one of the tackiest jobs in the world, next to car salesman. But, I like it. No seriously, I do. I'm not very good at it yet, but I know what I'm doing for the most part. The company I work for is very supportive and encourages questions. For the first time in my working life, I feel like my employer really gives a shit. I shouldn't say employer, because I am after all an independent contractor. I really work for myself.
Life insurance isn't as boring as it sounds. It's actually quite interesting. I'm going to search for an insurance course to take, so it will make me a better representative and help me pass my licensing exam that I have to take in the next 10 months. But, that all costs money, which I can't spare at the moment.
This is the first month, where my bank account is in the black. I didn't bounce anything, which is miraculous. I'm so bad with money and budgeting. I plan, but something always seems to get left out. I wasn't able to pay my rent this month, so I have to pay $400 at least next month. It's actually $440, but I'll have to delay paying somethings in order to make it work.
I'm not really worried about things going to collections anymore. My credit is in the sewer, and I just go with the flow. I have a goal of having a $1500 emergency fund by December 31st, and $500 for Christmas shopping by the end of November. I also want to be out of debt by March of 2021. However, if I don't start bringing in some commissions soon, I don't think that's going to happen.
I did make a tiny sale yesterday. The commision is only $50, but hell yeah, I'll take it with heartfelt gratitude. I plan on adopting a kitten for my birthday, and we're supposed to go meet one tomorrow morning. It's a tuxedo cat named Corduroy. Stupid name, I know. But, if she looks like it, her name will be changed to Zelda. Her full name will be, Zelda Padme Nataleia. That depends on her though. Cats tend to pick their humans, not the other way around. Another kitten may choose me.
The adoption center is having an adopt one, get one free special. I nearly fell out of my chair when I read that. But, as there are already 2 adult cats in the house, we are getting only 1. That's 3 cats for 3 people.
There will be a lot of paperwork to fill out no doubt, to make sure that I will be a good mom. I told them we lived in a house because Zuko and Zabra aren't on the lease. Neither am I as a matter of fact. I'll have to ask about that tomorrow. If it's only $50 or so, I'll fill out the application to be put on the lease. Of course, that depends on April and Erica.
I hope Zuko and Zabra are accepting of the little girl. Maybe Zaby's will act like a mommy. Zuko will probably ignore her, or chase her around the house. He's pretty sweet to me, except when he doesn't get his snacks when he wants them. He attacked my leg the other day and drew blood. I don't take it personally, he is after all, a cat. He does come up for kisses and chin scratches. He likes to come in my room during the day and hangout. Zabra sometimes sleeps in the box I set up for them that's under my desk. Zuko likes it too. He also likes my desk chair. He'll steal it if I don't watch him. Then, it's a devil of a time to get him off. He usually attacks me later.
Things have been going pretty well around here as far as getting along. I'm much more stable than I was a couple of months ago. I got my meds back to therapeutic levels, so I'm much better mentally. Physically, I'm still dealing with this pain in my belly. The results of the ultrasound came back negative for abnormalities. I'm waiting to hear about my CT scan. I see a gastroenterologist on Monday. I don't know what to tell him except there is a pain there, and it hurts a lot at different times. Anyway, more forms, more questions. Sometimes, I hate my body for all these ailments. I'm still having that fatigue and bone ache thing, but no one wants to listen to me. I've had more blood tests, and everything comes back normal. But, I'm telling you, there is something wrong.
I guess that's all for now. My eyes are starting to get blurry even with my glasses. So, I guess I'll find something to watch on TV.
Peace, Joy, Love -B
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