When I titled this blog as Puppy Love, I wasn't referring to the type of love that young people first experience. It is because I love dogs.
I love their cold noses, their barks, whines, howls and other noises they make. I love puppy breath. One of the most joyful things in life is to see a tail wagging at my approach. I don't mind if a dog jumps on me to lick my face. In fact, I greatly appreciate it. When a dog does that, not only is he glad to see me, but he has marked me as being one of the pack.
I've had 3 dogs in my adult life. I've had 2 chow chows, and 1 terrier mix. I loved them each for their different qualities, as dogs have distinct personalities as varied as humans. Each one brought a special joy to my life, and I hope that I was a good parent. I say parent, because it has been documented that dogs are the equivalent as having a 2 year old in the house. In fact, I think that if one is thinking of getting a dog, he needs to sign papers of adoption; indicating that he understands that a dog is a 10-15 year commitment. Dogs are not disposable animals. If it barks, the owner shouldn't just chain it outside for the rest of it's life.
I have seen this too many times to count, and it saddens me a great deal. I feel if you don't want a dog in your house then don't get one. There are more dogs in the United States than in any other country in the world. We do not treat them well. Sure, we have the Humane Society and the ASPCA. But, that is not enough. We also have horrendous conditions in puppy mills and so called sanctuaries. The sanctuaries are usually run by hoarders who just keep adopting dogs to the point where they have too many to care for. The dogs do not get proper medical care, boarding, food and attention. I've seen so many news reports and commercials on these places, I could vomit.
All of my dogs were indoor dogs. I put them on eating and walking schedules. I had one dog that hated thunderstorms, so I gave him an herbal supplement to calm him down and we rode out the storm together. My dogs were allowed on my bed, and on my furniture. If a person came over and didn't like, she was welcome to leave. The dog lives here, but you don't.
My first dog was a female chow chow. She was smaller than the standard, but she was beautiful. She was red in color, but she didn't have a big ruff. My brother-in-law got her from a friend of his for $50. I think she was the runt of the litter. When he and my sister bought their house, the dog got chained in the back yard. I could only take so much, so I told my sister that I was taking her home with me. I didn't get much of an argument. With 2 kids, a full-time job and a husband on 3 month deployments twice a year, she didn't have time for a dog.
I didn't and still don't have any kids, so I figured I could use her for safety and company. Chow chows are said to be mean or vicious, but that's not true. It's all in how the dog is socialized.
My dog and I had great fun together. Back then, I had a Nissan 240 SX convertible, so on nice days I'd put the top down and the 2 of us would go for rides. She was buckled in, of course. The looks we got were priceless. She never barked or anything. She just sat there like a person. People would do double and triple takes once they realized there was a dog in the front seat. She died of stomach cancer. She went for years without symptoms, and then one day she just stopped eating. I took her to the veterinarian and they did exploratory surgery and found a huge tumor. The doctor told me they could remove it, but it had started growing down into her small intestine, and her quality of life would be poor, even with treatment. So, I put my big girl panties on and had her put down. I still have her ashes.
My second dog was a male chow chow. He too was beautiful. He was lighter red in color with a huge ruff. I found him on Pet Finder.com. I really recommend them. They do a thorough application process, check references, and conduct a 45 minute interview. It was a long process, but I got him. His owners drove a long distance so I'd get a chance to meet him. They decided right away that I was the right owner. We stayed in touch by letter for 5 years. Then I took him in to get his teeth cleaned and they found a raised mole along his upper gum. It turned out to be melanoma. I had pet insurance, so I could afford to get him treated. He had radiation and chemotherapy. I know to some people that may seem a ridiculous thing to do to save a dog; but he wasn't just a dog. He was my confidant, my therapist, my comforter and my best friend. You wouldn't turn your back on your best friend would you? So, I felt it was my duty to get him treated. He fought it with all his heart. Then one day the doctor showed me his chest x-ray; the cancer had spread to his lungs. So, I kept him as comfortable as long as I could, but I could tell he was getting weaker. I had decided one day that he'd had enough and I was going to put him down, but he beat me to it. One morning in September, he lay down with his head in my lap and he drifted away. I swear, my heart broke into a million pieces. I am still grieving his loss. I am crying as I write this. I swore to myself, no more animals.
A few years later, after I bought my own house, I decided that what was needed was a dog. I adopted my terrier mix from the local SPCA. I loved him right away. I looked at him and he just sat there. I asked him if he wanted to come home with me, and he barked. So, I just knew that he was my dog. He was dirty and smelled bad. The first thing I did was got him groomed. With a bath and a haircut, he cut quite the handsome figure. He slept on a dog bed next to me. He wasn't interested in the furniture or sleeping in my bed, so I let him be. He would greet people at the door, and then go hide under the chair.
He was so sweet, and boy did he love his tummy rubs. I had him for 2 years, then I noticed that he was having trouble catching his breath after our walks. I took him to the vet, and there it was, fluid around his heart. The doctor called in a veterinarian heart specialist; she did an echocardiogram. It seemed my baby was in the final stages of congestive heart failure. He immediately went on medication, most of which I couldn't afford because I was on disability due to having bipolar. But, the doctor gave me a discount and even had him be part of a research study on a new drug. We both struggled for 6 long months. Finally, he started having seizures, and was unable to walk across the room without collapsing. It tore my heart open again, but I had him put down.
I have all of my dogs' ashes. I'm going to be buried with them, so I'll always have them with me. One day the three of them will find me on the other side of the rainbow bridge and it will be a joyful reunion. For now, I don't have any animals, just a stuffed lioness named Mabel. I don't know if I'll ever get another dog, even though I want one so badly. Perhaps, things will turn around this year. I will get a job, and move into my own little place and get a little dog. In the meantime, I have my memories and pictures. I will always love them, and I am sure they are all waiting for me, tails wagging. Don't worry my loves, I'll be with you soon enough. Kisses
Bev
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