The times they are a-changing. I think that's from Bob Dylan song. At any rate, the times are changing. 2027 will be a year for the record books. The election results came in and the state of Georgia is going to be run by black women. We elected our first black woman governor in the country and all the executive offices were won by black women. It serves as an inspiration and comes with hope and trepidation. I just hope everyone is honest and forthright. In short ladies, don't fuck it up.
I had told my therapists that I had a feeling that 2027 would be a good year, and I still feel that way. I don't know what the coming year will bring, but I just have hope, something I haven't felt in a long while. 2026 has been a year of sadness and worry. Some of my favorite people died. It left a hole in my heart. There was a weight on my shoulders that I couldn't quite figure out. But now that weight is starting to lift. It's not like there have been any big changes in our household. I mean we are still in this tiny cramped apartment. I still have no money. I still don't like my job. But, I have a feeling that it's all going to change for the better. I think that's what having faith is all about.
I've started having little conversations with God. He's been waking me up early in the morning. Usually around 5 am. I'm still trying to adjust to the time change. Also, the animals get up at 5 am looking for breakfast. I could shoo them away, but I feel guilty when I do that. It's not their fault. So, I get up and get them a little snack. I feed them around 6 am.
I did something spur of the moment the other day. My ex-brother-in-law, Erica's dad, had an extra ticket to a concert, so I went. It was for Usher and Chris Brown. The concert was okay. It started 3 hour late, and the production was just okay to my way of thinking, but I had a nice time. It was good to get out of the house. Plus, it was a little bit of a bonding experience with Erica, and it's always a pleasure to see Dave.
We didn't get home until 2 in the morning, so it was kind of late to take my night meds, so I just kind of sat up and listened to Murder, She Wrote on my headphones. I had a doctor appointment yesterday for my knees. I have arthritis in both knees, severe in the right knee. He gave me some exercises to do, and I am going to have gel injections in both knees to help lubricate them. Hopefully, that will do the trick. I will probably need a knee replacement for my right knee in the future. It will be horrible because I have a lot of hardware in that knee from the car accident I had in 2012. It will need to be removed.
I got a couple of projects to do today. Right now, I'm doing my laundry. I need to vacuum. Also, We are going to take down the Halloween decor and put up the fall decor. I also must wash my hair today. I haven't washed it in a few weeks. It's not especially dirty, but I need to deep condition it. It's very dry.
The weather today is gorgeous. It's a nice sunny, crisp fall day. I can't believe it's November. Thanksgiving is in a few weeks. I have off on Wednesday for Veteran's Day. I took a half day off on Thursday, and I am always off on Fridays. That is the only thing I like about my work schedule. It gets hard around 5 pm to keep my energy level up. By that time, I'm all talked out and don't give a fuck.
April is having surgery again. It's on the 18th. She's having her parathyroid gland removed. She has thyroid disease. She's had it for a while and had her thyroid gland radiated years ago. However, her parathyroid levels are off. She's also in a lot of pain sometimes, and as a result she can't walk to well. She still works at home. She hasn't driven a car since June. Getting in the car causes her pain. To say I worry about her is an understatement. I sometimes think she won't make it to 75 yrs old. Which causes me great distress. Her kids will be devastated and I don't know what I'll do without her.
I don't feel 61, even though my body does. I still feel like a young person in my mind and the thought of losing any family members causes a lot of anxiety. I know it's part of life, but I simply adore my family. I sometimes dream that I'm the only one left. It's a sad feeling.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not stewing in these feelings. Overall, I feel really positive. I finally feel like my authentic self. I'm a relatively happy person. I want to contribute most of the time. Of course, there are times I want to be left alone, but not too often. I'm not shutting people out. In fact, I'm reaching out to people more and more in little ways. I talk to my neighbors and people on the street. April and I talk during the day since we are both at home now. Even Erica and I talk some. She is not quite so negative. She still is a mostly negative person, but she has an outlet.
So, times are changing, and it's time for a change. I look forward to 2027 with quiet anticipation not worry. I hope it lasts. I'm determined to make it a good year.
Peace, Joy, Love- B
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