Today is the Last day of April. A month of emotional upheaval s great that I just wanted to sleep. So I did. I abused my medication to the point of sleeping for 3 days straight. I didn't eat. The only time I got up was to pee a few times. My sleep time was quite nice actually. Although I did have one dream when I was breaking out in maggots. However, I suppose that was a reference to the death I was experience. I didn't take a whole bunch of pills at one time because I didn't want to throw up.
Did anything happen to cause all this. Nope. Just the sheer panic about going to work and trying to put a big fat smile on my face and coming up with enough desire to give a fuck. I stopped caring. About my self, about my family and about my cat even. Zelda has remained glued to my side throughout all of this, but I've had to kick her off the bed a few times.
I'm supposed to go to work tomorrow like everything's ok, but it's not okay. I'd rather drive my car into a brick wall than go back to work. I'm not going back inpatient. Again, brick wall. My so call family doesn't give a shit. Has anyone asked me if I'm okay, gotten me something to eat? Nope. They just ignore me as if I'm not here. So I guess I shouldn't be here
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