Compassion is the emotional response of recognizing suffering and feeling a strong desire to alleviate it. It goes beyond simple empathy. It is understanding the other person's pain and discomfort and taking action. It is love in motion.
Some people have been described as being very compassionate and some as having none. I like to think that I have compassion. Sometimes, I believe I have too much. I am an empath. I absorb energy from others. I often take on other's problems as my own and do whatever I can to solve them. Sometimes to my detriment. I find it very difficult to be in tense and angry situations because it upsets me because I take on those emotions and have no way to process them because they are not my own. Being an empath is not all bad. I like being in happy situations. I like being with people who are positive because I can share in their joy.
I've been thinking about this all recently because of my sister's surgery. I feel her pain. Often to the point where I feel physical pain myself because I know what she is going through. I haven't had hip surgery, but I have had 5 back surgeries, 3 ankle surgeries and a very complicated knee surgery as a result of a severe car accident I had in 2012. Erica and I have been taking care of her during her convalescence. Sometimes I get angry with Erica because she sometimes acts as if this is a burdensome situation. It is sometimes trying, but I feel that it is also a privilege because she has a mother to take care of and should look at it as an opportunity to give something back to her mother.
The situation often takes me back to the time of my accident where my mom took care of me. My mom was the most caring, kind and compassionate person I've ever known. She took such care of me, bathing me, feeding me etc. She was almost relentless in her care. I told my sister about her bathing me. I was confined to the lower part of the house because I couldn't get up the stairs. I was confined to a hospital bed for 3 weeks. My mom gave me sponge baths everyday. I couldn't really take care of myself because my injuries were severe enough that I was drugged most of the time. So, I slept a lot. I couldn't have gotten through it without my mom, even though I had a home health aide too.
I suppose most people will think that is what a mom is supposed to do. I think that way too, but not everyone has a mom like the one I had. Not everyone has compassion. It's something that I believe all people are born with, but it has to be nurtured. It has to be developed. I suppose there are some people born without an once of compassion. I think they become serial killers. But, most people have something inside them that makes them want to help others.
As we get older, compassion tends to grow. We live our lives in stages where as young people we are a little self centered. As we age, and have families of our own, the seed of compassion grows and blossoms. We look after our children and then our parents. At least we do if we are decent human beings.
I don't know what I will do if I'm ever in a situation where I need care. I think I will just see if I can find a convalescent home or hire someone to come in my home. I don't have any kids, and I don't think I want Erica or Sean to take care of me. Not that I don't think they would, it's just it's a lot of work and I don't want to burden anyone. That's the one sucky thing about being single. There's no one to look after you as you get old. Maybe I'll have a compassionate friend or maybe I'll actually find a husband one day. Haha.
Peace, Joy, Love - B
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