Well, it's over I guess. It will be 2 weeks tomorrow since I've heard from Kevin. I sent him a text message yesterday, just trying to reach out to see if wanted to fit me into his life, and I got nothing in return. Part of me feels stupid for sending it, but at least I know.
So, I'm back to looking for my forever love. So, Scorpios and Leos are out as potential mates. I need to find an Aquarius. Those are supposed to be compatible with me.
I don't regret Kevin. I don't think I made any mistakes. He just wasn't as ready for a real relationship as he said he was. He is nice but a bit of a dreamer. He also had a hard time communicating. I'm much more open than I used to be. Plus, I know what I want now. No more fuckery.
So, what's new on the horizon? Surgery my friends. I found out yesterday that I need more surgery on my right ankle. The pain is really starting to get to me. Which is saying a lot because I have a very high pain tolerance. My surgery is scheduled for the 31st of this month. So, it's back to the knee scooter for 6-12 weeks.
Oh, guess what?! Amazon cut off my health benefits. The fuckers. Thank the good Lord, I still have my Medicare coverage. At least for the time being. I never heard back from them regarding my eligibility for continued benefits that I sent in back in May. Well, being as I am disabled physically, I guess I still qualify.
My money is still funny. I'm trying to get my long term disability benefits approved. I tried calling the claims adjuster 3 times, and left messages, but the bitch hasn't called me back yet. In the meantime, I'm bored out of my mind.
I bought some watercolor paints last week, so I guess I will try and do that. In my mind I can paint. But, in reality, it will probably look like a kindergarteners work. Oh well, it is what it is.
I'm trying to remain upbeat, but things are a little tense around here since my niece lost her job. Her job was toxic and the people were very nasty to her. It's kind of good she doesn't work there anymore. She was under so much stress there over the last 2 years, she gained almost 100 pounds. She has a therapist, but she needs to see her more often.
Last night we brought up her unhealthy and co-dependent relationship with my sister, her mom. She realizes it, and tried to talk to my sister about it. But, as always, when you try to discuss emotions with my sister, she gets angry. My niece was okay though, she told me that she's not going to stop living her life because her mom can't let go. I'm very proud of her for that.
I was so co-dependent with my mom, it was like we were the same person. My greatest fear in the world was my mother's death. But, when it happened, I was suddenly set free from that fear. I'm my own person now. Which is scary and exciting.
As far as men are concerned, I'm on another dating app, so I'm looking. But, I'm going to take my time. I want to have real dates, not just come to my house and fuck. So, there you go, another guy, another goodbye. - B
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