Monday, August 17, 2020

Sketches of a Bipolar Girl: Birthday Girl

 


Happy Birthday to Me!!!! It's not truly my birthday until 1 pm this afternoon.  That's what time I was born.  But today is the big day!!  I am 55 years old.  Quite frankly, it's been a long strange trip. 

If I am completely honest with you, I have lived 10 years longer than I ever imagined.  I had always thought I would die by the time I was 45.  I don't know why.  I do know that's how far my childish imagination took me.

I used to think that I would marry in my 20's, have 4 children, and die some tragic movie-like death.  But, alas, I have never married or had children.  I will probably outlive my entire family and be an old woman surrounded by animals.  Which is not a bad thought, as long as I don't die alone, and my animals end up eating me! 

I do have a boyfriend though.  I am still with Tony.  No, we still have not had our first encounter yet.  But, I am trying to talk him into creating a bubble with me, so we can stay safe while being together.  I sometimes do experience doubts about him, and if he really is serious about me.  I mean we just text, he never calls, and when I call him, I get no answer and he doesn't have voicemail. 

Zelda is my present to myself.  She is 1.5 pounds of joy.  It's so nice to have a living thing to love and take care of.  I just found her on the top shelf of my closet.  Her favorite thing to do is climb.  I'm going to have to keep a close eye on her, stink bug!!

This is my first birthday without Mom.  I feel kind of sad about it, but it's not triggering any type of depression.  I found a couple of photo albums and there are some old pictures of her.  She was so pretty.  

I am officially elderly I think.  I qualify for all kinds of senior discounts.  I'm trying to start off this week with a new will, and attitude.  I want to push myself to succeed.  Ok, maybe succeed is a strong word.  I want to push myself to not give up.  I want to keep going.  



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