I've noticed something lately. I can't wear cute shoes anymore. I can't wear heels, not even kitten heels. If I want to wear something with a heel, it has to be a wedge heel and no higher than an inch. I wonder when this happened, but I realize that it happened after my car accident in 2012 when my ankle got messed up. Eventually it had to be fused together, so now I can't even bend it. On bad days, I walk with a limp, which is just so sexy. I have to sort of drag my right leg behind me.
Come to think of it, I don't even wear cute clothes anymore. When I turned 55, I started dressing for comfort. All my t-shirts are at least a size too big. I can't find pants that fit anymore. Everything is either too baggy or too tight. I wear a lot of yoga pants. I have 4 pairs of sneakers. I do have a pair of pink UGG boots, which are cute to me. Mostly this summer I've been wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I have a black pair of slides that I wear all the time. A lot of times I wear them with socks. Stylish I know, but that's how everybody wears them. I do have a pair of Boho sandals, but I haven't worn them a lot because my feet are ugly. I used to have pretty feet. My right foot has big scars on it from my multiple ankle surgeries. My left foot is still cute. But, I haven't had a pedicure in a long while, so my toes are kind of janky.
I did give myself a mani-pedi today. It's not professional by any means, but at least my nails are painted. I painted my fingernails cobalt blue and my toes are hot pink. I think they look cute. I may try and look cute tomorrow. I put makeup on today, which I hardly ever do anymore. I usually makeup my eyes because I think they are my best feature, but with my lack of sleep for the last 6 months, my eyes are very dry and scratchy. I usually end up rubbing my makeup off. I don't wear lipstick anymore. I don't like the way it makes me look. As I've gotten older, it just looks cheap. I am trying to find a natural lipstick. I have one, but it's kind of old.
I guess I need to try harder to look cute. people have told me that I am beautiful, but I think I'm more cute than beautiful. I must admit, I've let my hair go. I usually pin it up because I hate braiding it in order to wear it out and wavy. Maybe I'll try this week. I have to wash my hair tomorrow, so maybe I'll braid it until blow drying it straight. That way I'll have some nice waves.
Unfortunately, I don't have anywhere to go when I look cute. I don't go clubbing, and I have no friends. I suppose I should call Angela from upstairs, but she doesn't have any teeth. She's nice though. Maybe if a movie comes out that I want to see, I'll ask her if she wants to go, although she rarely goes anywhere without her dog, Toby.
I used to be so cute. I wonder why I stopped trying. Mostly I just want to be really comfortable. Unfortunately, you can't do both in this day and age. I miss my cute shoes though. I miss a lot of stuff. As Bette Davis said "Getting old ain't for sissies.!"
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