Dear Dad,
It's been 41 days. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I long to talk to you and hear you call me baby girl. It doesn't seem real. One day you were here and the next you were gone. It's not fair. I wasn't ready to lose you. I had no time to prepare.
The last few days haven't been too great. I've been sleeping too much, and staring at the walls. I haven't been able to delete your phone number. It's kind of like, as long as I have it, you might call. I know that's just unrealistic and childish, but I don't care.
Julie is sending your ashes to us in a couple of weeks. I picked out an urn for you. It has an eagle flying over a mountain. I think you will like it. I know you're divorced, but we are going to sit you on a shelf next to mom. It's only temporary. Mom wants to be scattered on Grandmom and Grandpop's graves. Jerald will take her up there, when things clear up.
The weather up north is dreadful. They've had snow storm after storm. Some places have over 20 inches of snow. The weather here has been horrible too. It's just been cold and rainy. I guess that's added to my downward mood. It's sunny today, so I am feeling better.
Oh dad, I miss you terribly. I've only cried twice. Is that weird? Sometimes, I want to just weep, but I can't. My doctor says that my meds are keeping me on an even keel. She's probably right. Please visit me if you can. I still have that old thermal jacket of your's. I wear it whenever I need to feel your arms around me. I love you daddy.
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