Sketches of a Bipolar Girl: Free Falling

It's been a long time.  I wish I could say things were good, but I can't.  I guess I will start by saying I have relocated to Duluth, GA.  This was not my choice.  I was asked to leave my former residence by my aunt, who simply stated that I had to go by the end of summer 2019.  She gave me three months. 

I guess it's my own fault really.  I was very depressed, and had been hospitalized 3 times in as many months.  I attempted suicide.  I felt completely worthless and a burden.  I tried to find a place of my own, but couldn't afford it.  My brother and sister talked, and it was decided I would move to Duluth to live with her.
It hasn't been easy.  My sister doesn't really want me here, and doesn't talk to me about my feelings or emotions. I am still depressed, and no one in my family wants to deal with me.  I am constantly told to get myself together.  I have a therapist, but can't afford to see her often.  I am still on medication, but can't afford it all the time. 
I have been looking, but can't find a job.  I don't even know if I can work.  I just feel so useless all of the time.  I am alone most of the time.  I have no friends.  I spend a lot of time just listening to the radio or watching tv.
Whenever I post my feelings on Facebook, people tell me I am not alone or I should talk to God.  I don't think He hears me anymore.  My pain is relentless and unending.  I have been suicidal the past week, but I am not going to the hospital again.  I will disappear or die first.
Now, things are as bad as they've ever been.  My mom has pancreatic cancer, and I am devastated.  No one will talk about it, and I am not handling it well.  Once again, I have been told to get myself together.  My mom is fading fast, and I can't bear it.  My mom is my best friend and confidante.  I don't think I can live without her.
I am free falling through time and space and I am alone with only my screams to accompany me.  The growing darkness of my mental state is enveloping me, and no one seems to notice.  I am dying.  I don't think I'll be missed.