Sunday, September 16, 2018

Sketches of a Bipolar Girl: Activities of Daily Living




What are the activities of daily living (ADLs)?  Quite simply, they are the things that a normally functioning adult fulfills to carry on a normal day.  It's not that difficult, but for a person with mental illness these tasks can be extremely challenging.
The first ADL I find hard is making my bed.  This is a ploy to get me out of bed.  When I am depressed, I want to stay in bed and sleep all day.  To get out of bed takes all my strength.  Making my bed is the way of telling my brain I am up and will not be getting under the covers until bedtime.
After getting up, I got to the bathroom.  It's not just to use it, but to wash my face and brush my teeth.  This is a big deal.  Washing my face involves looking in the mirror, which I hate to do.  One of the first signs I am depressed is that I stop brushing my teeth.  Gross I know, so you can imagine what shape my teeth were in before I went to the dentist.  All of my teeth have fillings or crowns.  They look fine now, just kind of stained from coffee and cigarettes.
Taking a shower is traumatizing for me.  You see, I hate my body.  I hate looking at it and touching it.  On occasion, it has taken me hours to shower, only to give up and throw on the clothes I wore for the past 3 days.  When I do take a shower, it lasts for 5 minutes, unless I wash my hair, then it's 8 minutes.
Another ADL is feeding yourself.  Breakfast is my favorite meal, and I do my best to make it healthy.  I'm on an eating plan now, and I try to eat healthy all day.  I'm having problems at night.  I binge eat, destroying my diet.  I ate a can of cake frosting the other night.  Last night, I ate 2 of the large size Rice Krispies bars.  What about my diabetes?  That's an ADL, checking my blood sugar.  But sometimes I just don't care.
I've been having trouble sleeping lately.  Either I don't sleep at all, or I fall asleep at 3 AM and sleep all morning.  I am not taking my meds on time, which just makes things worse mentally.  I've just seen my psychiatrist, and he made some adjustments to my meds.  I am also working on another ADL, my sleep routine.  I am trying to take my meds in the morning by 9 AM, and my night time meds between 8:30 and 9.  I am going to start setting my alarm for 8:30 so I don't oversleep and miss my morning meds.
So why are completing my ADLs so difficult?  Depression, lethargy, fatigue, self loathing, and lack of motivation all add up to a dirty, smelly, slob with a messy room, bad breath, and nappy hair.  I'm getting better though.  I did my laundry, changed my linens, took a shower, washed my hair, vacuumed my room, and brushed my teeth.  That was yesterday.  Tomorrow is another day.
Peace, Joy, Love - B

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