I love Jon Snow

I have a tremendous crush on Jon Snow.  If you don't watch Game of Thrones, then you don't know of whom I am speaking.  If you do watch the show, then you know him.  Never has a character captivated so much.  I am currently reading the first of the five books of The Songs of Fire and Ice series by George R.R. Martin.  I didn't watch the show when it first came on because we didn't have HBO.  But then I upgraded our cable package to get it and other channels.
I watch it On-Demand because I don't stay up that late.  I like to watch it alone, but my mom and aunt like it too. Understand, my crush is not on Kit Harrington, the actor.  I first loved Jon Snow from season one, when he first took the black.  He learned hard lessons on the Wall, but still had hope.  He never forgets who he is or from whence he came.  With his faithful, fearless direwolf, Ghost by his side, he learned to fear nothing.
He is a true born leader.  Jon Snow was raised as the bastard son of Eddard Stark, but we got a hint of his true parentage in season five.  I hope through my reading, that I discover the truth, and that what I think it is, is the truth.  If true, then Jon Snow is the son of Rhaegar Targaryen, the king of the Seven Kingdoms before Robert Baratheon took the throne. He is also the half brother of Daenarys Stormborn, Mother of Dragons.  Could you just imagine if those two got together?  I think it would be fabulous!!!
I also admire Jon Snow's sense of honor and courage.  The way he banded together the wildings to fight for Castle Black instead of against it, was awesome.  He, together with his sister, Sansa Stark defeated Ramsey Bolton in one of the greatest battle scenes I have ever seen on film.  Jon fought for his life, struggling against all odds to free himself from the crush of bodies falling on him threatening suffocation.  He took back Winterfell and let Sansa feed Ramsey to the dogs.  I don't know whose death I enjoyed more, Ramsey's or Joffrey's.
He is also handsome and valiant.  Being easy on the eyes is always a benefit, and Kit is certainly that.  Jon Snow does want is right for his men and his family.  Not that he is perfect, because he isn't.  He has made mistakes, but he learns from them.  He never forgets betrayals and he always pays his debts.  No wonder he was called the King of the North.  He is a Stark, afterall.  It turns out that his mother was Lyanna Stark, Eddard's sister.  This we saw from Bran's visions.
I hope Jon finds Arya and Bran soon.  Arya is now an assassin, and Bran is the three-eyed raven.  So far, the executive producers have stuck very close to the books.  I am not worried about how the last two seasons will turn out.  I am sure it will be great.  Unfortunately,  my concentration is still a little off, so the reading is going slowly.  Normally, I would be on the third book by now.  But, as I said, I am still on the first book, which I hope to finish this weekend.  I will complete the series, that I promise.  I will read, and learn more about my crush, Jon Snow.  I haven't felt this way about a character since Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  I hope it turns out just as well.
Peace, Joy, Love - B

Help Me O God!!

Woe is me!! How long, O God must I endure these afflictions!?  I seek comfort in you, but cannot find You.  I wish to take shelter, but can find no refuge.  I pray to You, but cannot find the words that You might hear me.  Look into my heart and see my despair.  Look into my mind and see the whirling dervish of doubt and confusion.  I only took my eyes off of You for a moment, and in that moment I became lost.  Please light my path back to You! Lord, you said a good shepherd will leave the 99 sheep in his flock to go and find the one that is lost.  I am right here! Come for me, I beseech Thee!
I am so tired of the ups and downs, the great peaks and deep valleys of bipolar.  Each day is unknown.  Each minute a question.  I beg of you to make it stop.  One moment, I am happy.  The next moment besieged by fears so deep it makes me question my existence.
I do not cry often, but when I do, it is like a river overflowing.  The voices of the demons tell me that you do not love me.  I know that they are lies and I rebuke them.  But, when they whisper day after day, I begin to doubt and my heart is filled with sorrow.
I want to live Your truth, O Lord!  I want to be filled with Your Spirit and everlasting love!  Help me, Father!  Remove these chains from my heart and lighten my burdens.  Let me know that you have heard my cries.  Help me!  Please Help me!!  I love You.
B

Confessions of a Grammar Snob

I need to go to confession.  What is my sin?  It is the sin of pride, which is one of the seven deadly sins.  You see, I feel the occasional twinge of contempt for people I feel are beneath me.  It's horrible, I know, but when some people speak, I cringe at their obvious lack of education.

I am not perfect, but in my opinion, a person should try to be eloquent and well-spoken when writing or opening their mouths.  Nothing grates me more than seeing a person on television, usually on the news, who speaks with incorrect grammar to the point where it is on par with the broken English of foreigners.  Sometimes, on Facebook, a person may write they're or there, when the needed word is their.  Do we no longer teach English in schools?  Does the average person know what a pronoun is?  Or the proper use of an adverb?

I remember, when I was growing up, there was Schoolhouse Rock.  It came on during the Saturday morning cartoons.  Those short programs were fun, easy to understand, and taught me a lot.  Who remembers Conjunction Junction? Lolly, lolly, lolly Get Your Adverbs Here? Interjections?  Those songs still ring in my brain.

I think we should bring back Schoolhouse Rock.  It can help both kids and adults, who live in areas where getting a quality education is difficult.  I realize that things have changed in schools over the years, but I truly believe in my heart that kids are still kids, and that learning can be fun.  Instead of video games and iPhones, kids need to get outside and play, explore their imaginations, and be encouraged to read.  Need someplace to take your kids for a couple of hours?  Go to the library, for goodness sake!!  Let your child find something that peaks her interest.  Let them discover the joys of books; the look, the feel, the smell.  Help them learn to retreat into those places in their brains where dreams do come true, and new worlds are discovered.

Teachers today are under a lot of pressure to get good performance scores instead of educating.  So many kids are being passed along, and cannot even put together a proper sentence.  When I hear that, it makes my skin crawl.  This is our future, America.  A generation that can't spell, write cursive, or speak in public.  We our sending our children to college, if they can even get in, ill-equipped in basic skills.

I must confess, I was raised in a neighborhood that has a very long history of being one of the best school districts in the country.  So, I guess I am prejudiced.  I realize that not everyone is so fortunate.  I feel bad for those who live in areas where a proper education is not possible.  Hence, my sin of pride.  I have prayed for forgiveness and asked for the grace of humility whenever I pray the Rosary.

So far, my pride has not been tempered.  I have little tolerance for the ill-bred, ill-mannered, and poorly educated.  I must purge myself of this sin, if I wish to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  The Lord judges our hearts, as wells as our deeds.

I need to do better on both accounts.  I need to look at people with compassion instead of contempt.  I am sometimes ashamed for them, when I ought to be ashamed of myself.  If I had more patience, something I pray for, I could be a learning aid.  I have no valid excuse as to why I do not do more to help my fellow man.  I am so afraid of people, and have difficulty trusting.  However, that does not give me a free pass to not help.  There are so many things I could do to make a difference.  I just need to swallow my pride and do them.

News Of The Day? Thanks, But No

I do not watch the news, even the local news I ignore.  There is always a body found, someone shot, a building exploding, traffic accidents, and police violence.  I only watch the news to get the weather report.  Then, I retreat back to the confines of my room or to the porch.  Does this make me one of the uninformed, ignorant public?  I guess so, but watching the news fills me with anxiety, anger and sadness.

Quite frankly, I cannot wait for the election season to be over.  Watching Hillary and especially Donald, fills me with so much disgust, that I am thinking of doing a write-in vote.  We are the laughingstock of the world right now.  Do we really want a bullying, petulant, hate monger like Trump to be the leader of the free world?  Or should we vote for a more composed, professional, capable, but a liar like Hillary into office?  I would rather see Hillary.  She is a liar, but then so are all politicians.  They all bend the truth to suit their agenda.

Where are the Jefferson Smith's as so aptly portrayed by James Stewart in "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington"?  Where are the spitfires who promise and do make real political change?  Everybody just makes promises to end hunger in America, help the homeless, cure cancer, protect our troops and secure our borders and end violence, but no one really does anything about it!  Our children are still going to school hungry, families are still trying to make ends meet, and Big Pharma is still doing a booming business.

Besides, I have other things to worry about.  For instance, my mom is in pain.  She has been in pain for over a week.  I am taking her to the doctor tomorrow as a walk-in because she can't get an appointment until next week.  I am worried that it may be something serious, like a blood clot.  Maybe it's my anxiety at work, but I keep on the lookout for signs of a stroke or heart attack.  I am also worried about my dad.  Here it is in the middle of summer and he is complaining that he sometimes feels a chill in the air.  Is he having difficulty regulating his body temperature?  I know that comes with age, but still I am worried.  I am going out to visit him in December to celebrate his birthday, Christmas and New Year's with him again.  I know he has people looking out for him, but I am his blood and would drop everything at once if he needed care.

I wish I could win the lottery, so I could build a house big enough for both of them.  One in a suite on one side of the house and the other in a suite on the other side.  I wish I could buy a whole street of houses to have all my family together, it would be like the Kennedy compound.  It's an old dream, fed by fear of abandonment.  I want to take care of everybody, so we could all be happy, and in turn I would have a real sense of security.

Oh well, there is a passage in the bible that says do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself.  I need to remember that, because tomorrow is not promised.  With my being fat, a diabetic, and a smoker, tomorrow is really not promised to me.  But, I have always seem my smoking as a slow form of suicide.  I know full well what I am doing to myself.  I am not stupid.  I am naive, but not stupid.  I know I should probably be outside walking right now.  It would improve my mood, aid in digestion, and get the blood pumping to my brain as well as burning calories.  But, at present, I am afraid of people and the outdoors.  You never know who's out there.

That's another reason I don't watch the news.  People getting ambushed on the street, beaten and robbed.  People just walking by, or worse yet, standing there filming it instead of trying to help.

I don't want to be a statistic, but I already am.  Yet, I don't want it on screen as breaking news.

So, do I live in ignorant bliss?  No, not really.  I can still hear the news through my bedroom door.

I just choose not to watch it.  If I really want to tune out, I plug into Pandora and listen to Christmas music.  That always make me feel better.  I takes me back to times more innocent and to a safer place.  Isn't that what we all want, to live in a safer place?  Call me naive again, but I believe the world can get there again.  Only by moving forward in love.

Peace, Joy, Love - B