Today, I have completed my second full week at work. I went back to work on September 1st. We had off for labor day. Yes, I'm still at Delta Dental. They didn't fire me, and since I haven't found another job, I didn't quit.
My disability insurance finally came through, which is a blessing. I'm still looking for a new job, but I feel kind of guilty about it. My supervisor has been so loyal and supportive, I'd hate to tell her I'm quitting. However, we've talked quite often about me finding a position that makes me happy, and being on the phone is not something I want to do.
My next step is to move up to a level 2 associate. That will probably happen in the next 6 months if I keep performing like I'm currently doing in training. My supervisor got me back into training, so I wasn't thrust back on the phones. I'll be in training until October 24th. I am so happy about that, I could spit.
My brother still is not speaking to me, but he sends me money every week or so for gas money. I don't send him any messages or anything, as I am blocked. He communicates through April. I've been paying him $250 a month for my car and I pay on the 10th or 11th so he has it by the 15th when it's due. I can't say I miss him much. I really don't think about him much.
I don't think about my parents too much either. I still talk to them at night when I see their stars outside. I wonder how it got to be that way. 4 months ago I was suicidal with grief. But now I'm doing quite well. My doctor got me on the right meds and I see my therapist once a week. I do daily affirmations, and positive self talk. I haven't had any intrusive thoughts. I have a suicidal thought every so often, and get an auditory hallucination from time to time. But I can call either my doctor or therapist at any time.
Now for the bad news. We got evicted. We got the notice the beginning of last month, but we don't have a hearing date yet so we are still in our apartment. I've been trying desperately to find a new apartment, but I either get denied for income or credit. We are all so frustrated and tired of living in limbo. I applied for another apartment today, so keep your fingers crossed.
The funny thing is, I am surprisingly upbeat. While my circumstances aren't great, I remain hopeful and positive that everything will work out for the better. I believe that God has tested me and is looking at my faith in Him. Whenever I get a little blue, I pray. I know that God loves me and is by my side always. I suppose that's why I'm happy now.
Peace Joy Love - B
